Put the Best Idiot Right Beside You

I just had an epiphany. Now that the blame game is in full swing in the wake of Katrina, my theory about government and voting seems to be somewhat validated. I am a firm believer in everyone voting; I think it is an important right that must be exercised. However, I don't think that the most important elections are necessarily the big ones such as Presidential or the United State Congress. The most important elections are the local ones, from the Governor on down. These are the officials that are going to have the most effect on your life during the good times and, as Katrina as shown, during tragedy. Woe to you if you are relying on the federal government to do anything on your behalf, because it ain't gonna happen folks. The federal government is so big and mired in red tape that it really can't be counted on to do anything effectively, let alone deal with the worst natural disaster in our history.
The locals that have been put in place are going make or break the outcome of an area in dealing with anything, from getting the potholes fixed to tragedies such as those witnessed in the last weeks. If something catastrophic happens in your little corner of the world, you better hope that the local politicians have the leadership skills to deal with it. Rudy Giuliani had those qualities in dealing with 9/11 and it was because of those qualities that New York dealt with the unspeakable better than anyone would have expected. To be fair, local government doesn't have the resources that the federal government has; but this doesn't mean that the Feds carry more blame because they had more resources at their disposal. It is my contention that if the local officials are good leaders, not great, just good, tragedy and other issues can be dealt with effectively. Mayors, governors and even state legislators should know their area and people better than anybody in Washington and it is because of that knowledge they are in a better position to help than anyone else. Rest assured that when the dust settles, the President will shoulder most of the blame and he should take SOME of it, but it is because of the decisions of the Mayor and Governor that things played out the way the did. The governor took 24 hours to decide whether or not she would allow the National Guard troops to be under Federal control, thereby delaying their deployment. The Mayor knew that most of the people left in town were those who had limited resources and would need the most help in getting out, yet thousands of New Orleans school buses didn't even get their engines warmed up and help wasn't asked for until too late.
A lot of people don't vote because they think it doesn't matter, and I will concede that whoever is President might not, but it does matter on the local level, just ask the citizens of Louisiana, New Orleans and Mississippi.

Please Help.

Please donate to any or all of the following, they can help those that really need it. I've been watching the news all night and it is absolutely terrifying, depressing and just sad. Please help if you can.

Red Cross

The Salvation Army

The United Way

I'm Not Dead, Just Busy. . .and Lazy.

So I'm not dead. I haven't given up on the blogging type stuff either. My job is back in full swing and I am trying to "right the ship" as it were. I am starting to get back the ability to get up before nine. This is an unsettling feeling and because it unsettling I am having a hard time writing the next sentence. I am going to attempt some small posts, this one is going to be really small. Wow, does my brain hurt. Going to stop before it explodes. Did you know when you spell check on blogger, it stops on blog, blogging, etc.? That, my friends, is ironic.

Three Days of Rain

For those of you who don't know, I am acting again, here follows all the relevant info. Please come see it if you can.
Indianapolis, June 30, 2005: HuddleBerg Productions, Indianapolis'’ newest community theatre, will debut their first production, "“Three Days of Rain" by Richard Greenburg, July 15th and 16th at 8:00pm and July 17th at 2:00pm at the Thom Feit Studio Theatre, located in the Warren Performing Arts Center.
Greenburg's play is set in 1995 New York, where a brother, his sister and their childhood friend meet to settle their parents' estate. The two fathers were long-time friends and partners in architecture; their legacy is the brilliantly daring creation, the 1960's Janeway House. In this tense and brittle reunion, much more is at stake than who gets the house. Brother and sister discover their father's bland, sparse diary, and use it to create a story for themselves that will explain the present and make sense of their parents' marriage.
The second act, set in 1960, the same three actors play their own parents, revealing the details of the vaguely-described events in the diary. Braced with sharp humor, and built with smart, sophisticated characters, "Three Days of Rain" is an intelligent and timeless look into the constant struggle to understand and accept the ways in which the events of the past create the shape of the present.
The play stars Carrie Andrews Reiberg, Eric Reiberg, and Gabriel Huddleston and is directed by Tyler Smith. Tickets can be reserved by contacting the Warren Performing Arts Center Box Office at 317-532-6280.

On Airplanes as a Sane Method of Travel

For all the thought and concern that goes into booking the flight, it's no wonder the flight itself is so impersonal. I would very much like to meet the person who still calls a travel agent for his airline-booking needs. I imagine it would be a very comforting conversation, in that I would feel worlds better about myself afterward.

I don't so much have a problem with the business of air travel. The security points are somewhat tedious, and the idea of taking off my shoes in public is absolutely unsettling (only when I'm wearing socks, of course; flip flops and bare feet are fine, but socks terrify me--what if someone notices a hole I overlooked or, much worse, what if they are slightly damp?), but overall I am not bothered by it.

Since the evolution of the online ticketing process has such expedited our pre-travel routine, there is little to complain about in terms of the terminal staff as well. Very little interaction with these typically under-qualified individuals is required anymore, and thusly, it is easy to forget they exist.

No, the only discomfort I find in the realm of air travel is the actual flight itself. The company could be improved, but alas, even that is not my concern. I find fault with the real mechanics of flying. There's something about the way the plane moves and all those nasty turns and such that make me feel very out of sorts. I don't get airsick or planesick or flightsick or whatever it is, but I definitely do not feel well at all. It makes it very hard to keep my eyes open, but as soon as I close them, I have a hard time not feeling like the plane is suddenly travelling upside-down. I just have issues knowing in which direction I'm actually pointing.

I suppose it doesn't affect me enough to be really bothersome, but it also plays into another problem I have: my terrible phobia of vomit. I don't ever really fear that I'm going to throw up, because I am well aware of my symptoms and will be somewhere appropriate at least five minutes in advance, but I can't control the other people on the flight, and we're all so damned close together, and that guy over there looks a bit pale and OH GOD I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM ALL THESE BARF MACHINES.

Or something like that.

In short, air travel is fast, but nerve-wracking. Happy flying.

The Ethicist

Before I begin this new post. . .for the love of God, Tom, please shut the hell up. I grew up wanting to be Tom Cruise. Up until I was in 5th grade, people would ask me what I wanted to be and I would say Tom Cruise. "Oh so you want to be an actor?" "No," I would say, "I want to be Tom Cruise." That feeling has long since passed, but I still think he is a pretty good actor. All this being said, please shut up and shut up now. You didn't even graduate from high school, you are a member of a cult, DO NOT PRETEND TO BE AN EXPERT IN THE HISTORY OF PSYCHOLOGY; you sound like an idiot.
I love the column in the New York Times Magazine named The Ethicist. If you have never read this before, it is basically an advice column where everyday people write in with their moral dilemmas and ask, "what is the right thing to do?" This column fascinates me on several different levels. First, I love being able to peer into the moral quandaries in which people find themselves.
"Dear Ethicist, My Son Bobby wants to play baseball, but is too small to hit the ball past the infield. Should I start him on steroids myself or let him come to the conclusion that he needs an 'edge' on his own?"
Okay, so I made that one up, but it isn't that extreme of an example, which leads me to the other reason I love reading these letters. It seems, for the most part, that the answers to all of the questions posed are so obvious. "Do not give your son steroids, but maybe steer him to an activity in which he can excel." This could mean one of several things; I have an extreme sense of right and wrong, everyone else is ethically bankrupt, or people are hoping that a columnist will give them the go ahead to do what they want to do by saying it is ethical. The first is fairly impossible because I know myself pretty well, the second would be pretty depressing if true, so I think it is the third one. This is actually somewhat encouraging because it means that people really do know which choice is the ethical one and are simply making sure there isn't some loophole they missed. This might not be admirable, but at least it is understandable. Making the ethical choice is sometimes difficult and I don't see anything wrong with covering all your bases before you suck it up and do the right thing. Oh yeah, before I forget; Tom, STOP TALKING!!!!

Introducing: ExtraFox

As a brand-spankin'-new Lighter Person, I suppose that my first post must go down in Sir Toby and the Lighter People history as a triumph in first-post-writing; a first-place first post, if you will. I had several ideas regarding what to write about, but given that I'm still unsure of the demographic to which I'm speaking, I think I'll just cover them all and see which is the most well-received.

First Post Topic the First: The Great Gaber Challenge
Dating back to the earliest of hierarchies, it was nearly always the responsibility of the new blood to challenge the old blood. From the gladiators of Rome to the blacksmiths of London, it is, historically, imperative that newcomers to a particular trade or business make a name for themselves right off the bat (especially, so I understand, in baseball and spelunking). Thus, I feel that The Lighter People should be no different. I have joined your ranks and avast! let ye be challenged. I hereby state that I, ExtraFox, shall surpass your blogging capabilities, Gaber, as soon as I find out what that entails. Whether it be interviewing with the likes of Jon Stewart or writing with the ease of Thomas French, I shall overcome.

First Post Topic the Second: ExtraFox, in a Nutshell
I guess it's only fair to give this blog's readers a glimpse of the intricate wonder that is me, ExtraFox. I should begin politically. Unlike Mr. Gaber, I am an avowed Democrat, and a very liberal one at that. Abortion, those gays, gun control, women's reproductive rights, freedom in general - I'm pretty down with that. I read and write way too much; sometimes I fear becoming a hermit. I actually have a book drawer - a drawer full of books in line to be read. The ones I have read go on my bookshelf. I'm neurotic about driving: I never let anyone else do it. I'm opinionated, open-minded and blunt and that's really all you need to know.

First Post Topic the Third: Saltines
Nature's most perfect food (I refer to, of course, the beautiful Saltine Trees that grow just inland near the fjords of Norway). Is there anything they can't do? Aside from being a terrific snack full of valuable nutrients like sodium, they are also useful as building materials, dog treats, motor fuel, CD scratch repair aides, khaki dyes, self-defense weapons and replacements for your belt sander. I can't count how many beautiful Saltine Mansions I've seen constructed; how many times, in a pich, I have stretched my fuel mileage by adding a cupful or two of crushed Saltines; how many muggers I have warded off with a quick reflex and a sharp Saltine. I ask you, what more could you want from a snack item? If pressed, I am sure that a Saltine would have no qualms running for President, even.

First Post Topic the Fourth: The Ignorance Epidemic, Patriotism Gone Corporate
If there is a god, surely (s)he must be really pissed off about all that's going on down here. It's just gotten so utterly ridiculous that you can't go fifteen minutes without hearing someone spout some uninformed opinion about a topic on which he or she has no business forming any kind of opinion, let alone an ignorant one. It's a problem of epic proportions, and I wish I knew where to pin the blame. I think Michael Moore had it right when he blamed fear in the media, fear in the corporations, but they can't all be working together. I can't conceive of how there is one common idea floating out there among the execs and bureaucrats that the American people need to be controlled by their own fear. It's as though somehow our corporate overlords have joined some massive League of Shadows a la "Batman Begins" and are hell-bent on our destruction. I don't believe that. I think we allow the fear to control us, in some respects want, need the fear to survive, and the corporations play on that like any other supply-demand graph.

My case in point: the recent invasion of the ribbon magnets. Seriously, what is going on? Someone, somewhere, decided it would be a good, patriotic service to produce oversized ribbon-shaped magnets supporting a cause. Almost over a single weekend, every other car on the road was suddenly covered in these plastic labels as though they were somehow going to protect the vehicle and its occupants like a Shinto charm scroll. It's practically a modernized mistletoe. I'm not sure who originated it, be it an individual or a company, but I have to admire its ingenuity even if I despise its effects. To speak well of it before I thrash the idea to hell, it's a genius marketing ploy. Mass-produce these magnetic ribbons and label them as being in support of various causes from liver cancer to "our troops" and WHAM! you've got instant customers following their tugged heartstrings. Now onto the thrashing.

I fail to see how this is fooling anybody. Walgreens sells these magnetic eyesores. Walgreens. Do you really think Walgreens is donating a damned penny to whatever cause you think you're supporting just because you bought their cheap knock-off of someone else's original idea to pull one over on the general public? Yeah right. They are pointless symbols crowding the checkout lanes, making them more colorful than the PRIDE parades some of the ribbons are decidedly against. Not only that, they've become more collectable than the long-forgotten Beanie Babies. You see cars, vans, SUVs lumbering down the highway with six or seven of these ribbons ("support our troops," "breast cancer," "American Christianity," "domestic abuse" or maybe even "god hates fags") clinging to their rear bumpers for dear life while the driver smokes a cigarette with the windows up (her two kids strapped in the back) and changes the radio station when the public service announcements come on only to listen to more entertaining commercials. If ever there was a bumper sticker niche more annoying than the Jesus fish, this has to be it. And it's raking in a metric shitload of cash in the process.

Some Random Thoughts for the Full Moon

I have always really liked my new place, but now I LOVE it. We bought some window boxes for our little deck and planted some flowers. I am sitting outside, enjoying the night, drinking a beer, not studying my lines (more on that later), listening to a band cover some Grateful Dead from the bar across the trail, and looking at our flowers. I really like plants, and if that makes me a sissy, I think I can deal with it. It makes me feel good to take care a living thing. I especially like plants because if I kill it, I don't feel that bad, but if it thrives it makes me feel terrific.

For those of you that don't know, I am in the midst of rehearsal for another play. This time, I am not directing, thank God, just acting. It feels really good to be on the stage again. I feel like I am working on something important; solving real problems (yes, I know, ACTING problems), but problems I care about. This play has the potential to be excellent and I am excited. I will be posting soon about specifics (show dates, description of the play, etc.) very soon.

I have finally done something I've been wanting to do for a long time now. . . I bought a bike. About two weeks ago, I bit the bullet, put down the moolah and bought one. I have to tell you kids, I really like it. We live very near a trail that can get you all over the city. I have gone on several bike rides over 12 miles and I can't get enough. The bike on the left is very similar to mine. There is something about riding a bike that makes me feel like I am back in my old neighborhood riding over to a friends house to...ride our bikes around the neighborhood. The added bonus to all of this is that I think I have finally found an exercise activity that I will enjoy for awhile. I can also ride my bike to my other job, around the neighborhood, to the local watering hole; all the while feeling like a kid again and altogether wonderful, free and spiffy. If you don't have a bike, I suggest you get one. I have become ridiculously protective of mine and might kill if it means saving my bike. I about punched this guy in the face because he was leaning on it tonight at work. I love my bike...don't fuck with it. My bike is so great, that on one of my lasts trips, I ran into Dave Matthews. Now, I will be the first to admit that I am not as big of a Dave fan as I used to be, but still DAVE MATTHEWS!!! He was the soundtrack to much of my late high school/college years and it was pretty cool to meet him. Dave, as I now call him, is a pretty cool guy and was willing to sign my script. I was riding my bike and saw a man walking towards me that looked very familiar, it just happened to be Dave. I said hello, asked him how he was and kept riding. Realizing that this might be a great opportunity to meet a pretty cool guy I went back and found no Dave. Long story short, I waited around and finally cornered him as he left a workout facility. We chatted some more, got the signature and he took off. Overall, a very cool experience and I owe it all to. . .my bike. The moon looks great, my beer is gone, I must go to sleep. G'Night all.

Two Things Before I Sleep

I am up wait too late. Just one of those nights were you stay up for no good reason at all. Messing around on the computer, messing with IPOD, watching absolutely nothing on TV, I'm sure many of you have been there before. There are many constructive things that I could be doing, but. . .(sigh) oh well.

A new feature on my site is the little thing on the right which shows what is currently playing on my computer through ITunes; just to give you an idea of what I am listening to at the moment. Pretty cool huh?

Thanks to sks for becoming a contributor, just remember, there is still time to sign up. If there is anything I can do to make the site more appealing to join as a contributor let me know. Alright, time to sleep.

Got Something to Contribute?

Okay, I am going to try and add more "Lighter People" to this website, because 1) I am tired of just seeing my own posts and 2) I want to hear from other people and 3) to hopefully get more recognition and hits to this site. I have tried in the past to add people, but they rarely contributed. This is fine, blogging is not for everyone and I have the tendency to ignore posting for long stretches of time. (If any of those former contributors want to get back in the game, just let me know.) Last time I emailed people and asked them to join, now I am opening it up to anyone that is reading this blog on a semi-regular basis. If you know me in the real world outside of this little site, I can pretty much guarantee that I will add you as a contributor. Just respond to this post and tell me who you are or email me. If I don't know you, the process is a little more complicated. If you feel that you would be a good fit here, simply tell me why in a response to this post. Hopefully, this will be more of the blog community that I first envisioned when I started this thing.

The Unspoken Thank You

I was watching "Gattaca" the other day. This is one of those movies that when it is on I feel compelled to watch it. Not because it is a great movie by any stretch of the imagination. It is good, solid, mildly entertaining movie that takes itself a little too seriously. However, all of this is beside the point that I want to make in this post. At the end of the movie (don't worry, I'm not going to spoil the ending for those of you who care) there is a scene in which one of the characters commits a extremely kind, generous act that benefits the main character played by Ethan Hawke. Hawke's response is something that we see often in movies, the "unspoken thank you." He simply nods, and without ever saying a word, the other guy knows that Hawke's character can never repay him and is EXTREMELY grateful for all that he has done. This happens all the time in movies! If it is well done it can make the toughest of men (or women) cry. If it isn't, then is can seem cheesy and shallow. There are several variations, sometimes the nod, other times a whispered or mouthed thank you (yes, I know this is close to an actual spoken thank you, but let's not quibble), sometimes a single solitary tear, and still others an all knowing gaze. These usually take place during the climax of the movie and can be the single defining moment of the whole film. The question I have is this. . .Does this really happen in real life??? I cannot think of any moments in my life where I have either given or received an "unspoken thank you." It seems that there are either two ways to go about thanking a person for an extremely kind, generous, thoughtful act; you can either thank them profusely to the point where the person becomes either annoyed at your thanking them or angry for not thanking them enough; OR you don't thank them at all because you don't think the act was really ALL THAT kind or generous and they get really pissed and swear you off as a cold selfless asshole or bitch. Maybe, we should take our cue from movies and start to go with the "unspoken thank you." So, if you do anything kind or generous for me in the future and I don't say anything, just know that the thank you is unspoken.

The Most Surreal Letter You Will Ever Read

Okay, so my buddy emails me this a couple of days ago and I immeditely asked him if I could post it. He said I could, as long as I changed the names to protect the innocent, which I have. The first letter is from his ex-girlfriend, the second is his response. I have been assured that the first letter is indeed authentic. This is all real folks, I promise.

May 23, 2005

Dear Fred:

I have had a difficult time, over the past few years, achieving closure of our relationship. It is time for me to seek this. I have gone through the appropriate stages of anger, remorse, sadness. It is now time for me to close this chapter of my life.
I am trying to recapture my life and gain a sense of identity back. In my professional life I have done this, but my personal life struggles. For so long I/We were “Lucy and Fred”, that it is hard to gain my own identity back. I am not worried about my career; I will soon succeed even my wildest dreams. I am just stunted by my personal life.
I am ready to release you from my life. I also on a weekly basis encounter people who want to tell me about you or have a discussion about you. I do not want to deal with this anymore. I do have a proposal on how to handle this
I am ready to no longer be forced to deal with your presence. As to how to deal with it, I propose the following:
I’ve heard you have an apartment on the West side. You need to move out of the West side of (name of city), this has always been my side of town, I own a house here, and do not rent like you. I grew up here, and always want to live here. I would prefer if you were to leave (name of city) all together, but I know this is more than I can ask. I do not want to risk running into you at any store.
We should officially divide our friends. Particularly Billy, Brad, Jill, and Scott. You should write them, thanking them for the opportunity to be their friend and explain why you can no longer be in contact with them. I can provide you with addresses, if you need.
I will stay out of Republican politics. I promise not to get involved with any Republican politics, unless my father runs for judge, and than I reserve the right to work on his campaign.
I would like you to not have anything to do with all things (a high school). I feel I should have ownership of the school since my mother works there and my brother and sisters went there. You are more tied to (a local college). This should be where you dedicate your alumni status. I will be involved in (local high school). When the time of reunions comes up, I am willing to say that you can have the reunions ending in “0” years and I will take the”5” years. So you can have 10 years and I will take 25 years.
I will avoid (local college) contacts. The few guys from the house I still speak to on a rare basis, I will not. I will also discourage any male offspring I have from attending (local college).
I know some of these things seem a bit harsh, but I feel they are for the best. I do not ever really wish to see you again. I know that this will of course happen beyond my control, but I think we should do our best to avoid what we can.
It is my sincere hope that you understand, and do take the time to respond. This is my last request of you.

With fondness,
Lucy

May 31, 2005

Dear Lucy,

Thanks for your letter. We broke up 3 years ago. Knowing that and taking into consideration you believe me to be a cold, career focused, ego-maniac, what on earth makes you think I would take the time to think about you or agree to your proposal? But since I clearly have taken the time to respond, please take a moment to review some comments and counterproposals I have crafted.

1. First, I will have to resist the burning urge to move RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO YOU. After that deep desire subsides, I will vacate the Westside and return to my roots: The Snooty Northside, as you used to call it. However, since I was born on the Northside and I have Northside in my veins you must abdicate all ties to the North. This includes: Living on the Northside, living on the Northeastside, walking down North Street, being a fan of the Dallas Stars (formerly the Minnesota North Stars), wearing North Face apparel or telling your children that Santa lives at the North Pole. 1 (B). I was born in (name of city) before you were so I should really get to determine who stays and who goes. In my benevolence I will let you exist here only within the (local private school) boundary (High Dr. to 10th. and Fake Street to 10th St.) We will call this the LucyZone. This should be acceptable for you as your family lives across the street and there is a gas station, grocery, convenience store, your place of employment and a fire station. Exceptions can be made with my expressed written consent. You will be required to display a large tag in your windshield giving you permission to travel beyond the LucyZone.

2. I haven’t talked to your friends since we broke up. I think they got the message. However since we apparently are still in fourth grade, please have your friends meet me by the playground at recess so that I can tell them they have big fat heads and they aren’t my friends anymore. Do you agree? _______Yes ________No ________Maybe 2 (B). One of the few times you let us do something fun, we visited some of my family friends on (name of body of water). It was about eight years ago. We enjoyed their boat and home for several hours during a pre-(local event) party. Please jot them a note saying you are going to forget that ever happened. Please also offer to reimburse them for the boat gas, pool chlorine, air conditioning Freon, Dr. Pepper and anything else you consumed while you were there. I don’t have their address anymore, you can look it up.

3. Please let me know when your father runs for anything. I’m going to run against him. 3 (B). Thanks for staying out of Republican politics. Your heavyweight presence in the party will be sorely missed. I am very involved in ice hockey. I play recreationally and coach a youth team in the winter. I would prefer it if you could stop being involved in all things related to ice and ice hockey. You can use those instant first aid coldpaks to cool your drinks from now on. Also, my parents have been very involved with the (local annual festival) for nearly 20 years. The month of April is really a big month for us. While I am not able to honor your request of moving out of (name of city), I would ask that you just leave town during May. With 250,000 fans going to the (local sporting event) and 35,000 runners in the (local mini-marathon), I don’t want to run the risk of bumping into you. I know your birthday is in April, but man, I just don’t care.

4. Christ, I don’t have the energy for this one.

5. If any of my friends from Wabash actually still talk to you, they are fucking fired as friends. 5 (B). I’m not going to tell my kids anything about you. But speaking of kids, it would be okay with me if my son was a crack addict, just as long as he got your kids hooked on it and became their dealer.

In closing, I will never make decisions about my life or my family based on whether I might run into you at the store. I am now convinced that if we ever do bump into each other, you will spontaneously combust. I wish you the best of luck find a spouse. Seriously. It won’t be easy to find a person who is willing to spend the rest of his life raising children and making decisions based on your crazy-ass proposal to an ex-boyfriend and your inability to act like a rational human being.

All my best,
Fred

I'm on Vacation and You're Not.

Sorry to rub it in so much, but God it feels good to be chillin' and relaxin'. I just spent the whole day riding around on a large boat all over Ft. Myers and my body still feels like it at sea. I feel like Kevin Costner in Waterworld when he walks on land for the very first time. Yes, I just made a Waterworld reference, get off my back. My girlfriend and I were having a somewhat serious discussion on whether we would ever move down here. I really don't know if I am a "Florida" person. For those of you who have spent some time in Florida, you know exactly what I mean. Florida is an interesting mix of white trash and really, REALLY rich people. While there are a lot of other places where this mix is present as well, Florida people are just. . . different. It is really hard to put your finger on it, but there is something weird about people who are permanently tan and wear a lot of gold. It also seems that everyone is involved in real estate. I like it down here, but I just don't know if I could live here. Well, I would love to write some more, but. . .I'm exhausted from relaxing, think I'll take a nap.

Thoughts for the Coming Summer

Summer is almost here, and it really couldn't come at a better time. I am burnt out at work and the upcoming vacation time will help.
This burnt out feeling is resulting in me feeling old, really old. I have decided that aging really means having fewer and fewer days that you feel one hundred percent. About two weeks ago I had this horrible neck pain that was causing major headaches. Then this past weekend my left jaw and underneath started to hurt. I went to the dentist and he determined that I had some kind of infection. Is this what older means??????? Little aches and pains here and there that make me forget what youth really is? I maybe worked myself too hard over the past couple of months and that might have had something to do with me feeling a little off.
I don't know which is better, realizing your own mortality suddenly and powerfully through a horrific accident or terrible disease or slowly and surely over the course of many years. The first seems to be an epiphany that can produce powerful results. You see everything more clearly, priorities are set and the rest of your life can be lived with truth and purpose. The second will suck the very soul out of you and leads many of us to blind ourselves to this slow realization.
The scary thing is that it seems like I am taking better care of myself these days then in the past. I try to exercise more, those little vices that have plagued my life have been cut to a bare minimum and I am with someone who I love and loves me in return.
I might have set myself up for all of this a couple of months ago when I was driving in my car and thought, "Wow, things are really great right now, I must be in the throws of the Yin or Yang or whatever." You see in college I took a "Taoism in Eastern Literature" class. This was one of the few classes that I kept most of my books and I still think back to today. One of the major things that I remember is the whole idea of the Yin-Yang symbol (pictured on the right) that is associated with Taoism. Let's say that the white part of the symbol are good things happening in your life and the the black are the bad things. Now, travel on the outside edge of the circle in a counter-clockwise direction starting at the top. At this point your life is shit and things couldn't get any worse, but as you start to move to the left, a little bit of the white starts to appear; before you know it, you are in midst of the extreme happiness and bliss, but don't get too cocky, because a little bit of black is starting to sneak into your white happiness. When things are going really bad or really well, I always think back to that symbol. The trick is that when things are going really bad, you convince yourself that you are in the depths of blackness and all you need to do is to start looking for a little bit of that good old white. It's amazing, but usually that little bit of white is enough to keep you going, because a whole lot more of it is coming your way.

Okay, I am a big slacker...

Well, I'm afraid that I have lost whatever following was out there for this little site o'mine. But I really have been busy. Things have been really busy, and I just haven't been able to devote anytime to blogging. I just took up another job part-time and I am still getting settled to my new living arrangement. But I promise a longer post is coming soon and I plan on doing a lot of small posts in the future, just so I can keep you my limited audience here and in check. I am going to give you some new recommendations as well. More is coming soon. . .I promise.

But I just saw him...

A friend of mine died this week. I thought by maybe writing that sentence it would somehow feel more real, but it doesn't. He wasn't an old friend or a really "good" friend necessarily, but because I stopped ranking my friends along time ago, he was still my friend.
When I went back to school to get my teaching license, I had reasons for doing so, but none of them were very profound. Most of them were practical and boring, which made me not so excited to start my teaching career. This was all until I took a class taught by Kipchoge Kirkland. From the very first day in class, Choge inspired me. He hadn't even really started teaching yet and I was already hooked. The first words out of his mouth were a part of his spoken word poetry and those first few lines amazed me. Not only was I amazed by his poetry, but his ability to walk into that room and own the class with his confidence and enthusiasm. It was through this class that I started to find better reasons for becoming a teacher. He inspired me to be a better person and I couldn't wait to get into a class and give my students everything that Choge had given me.
As he had done last year, Choge came to my classes a couple of weeks ago to perform some his poems. He was helping me start my section on spoken word poetry for my advanced drama classes. The kids loved him and felt an instant connection with him, just as I did. There is nothing better than seeing things through your students’ eyes and I loved seeing Choge through theirs. His death was hard for me and telling my students was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
I feel like I should do something, stop everything I am doing and just mourn. I feel like I'm not missing him enough, or that I am not upset enough. I still don't believe it entirely I guess. The only thing that is different is that I keep thinking about his death and the only way that it stops is if I busy myself with something else. Choge was a great person, the type that you know you are lucky to have known. I always felt my creative juices get refilled whenever I talked to him. I hope that I can stay inspired by him now that he is gone, but I know it will be hard. I find it hard to believe there are any good reasons for his death; he made everyone around him better. If you want to find out more about him and maybe donate money to a scholarship set up for his son, click here.
Choge...you are missed...thank you for everything.

I Done Been Moved

So, where have I been? I know the question has been bugging all of you. I have been extremely busy moving into a new place. Not only moving, but moving in with my girlfriend. Yes, I have finally found a girl who is willing to live with me. So far, so good. It is a different experience living with a member of the opposite sex and it is definitely keeping me on toes. So, I still haven't reached the point where posting a full blog is high on my list, but the time is coming soon friends. In the meantime, check out the new recommendations, and to my fellow contributors...pick up my slack!!!

Prison Medicine

Social injustices, there are a lot of them, and in my job (our job) I have to deal with them each and every day often, multiple times per day. No one has enough time or energy to discuss all of these in one portfolio entry, nor would any one want to read such a composition. So, I will choose the one that irks me the most, and frustratingly, seems the easiest to resolve.

LACK OF MEDICAL CARE IN JAIL/PRISON

Certainly more lacking in the jail population than in prison since jail is an unstable situation. Anyone who works at Wishard can tell countless stories about patients who get arrested and sent to the APC or to the jail and do not get the medications that they need for their chronic medical conditions. I don’t care that people don’t get their Klonipin or their Vicodin, but dilantin, anti-psychotics, beta blockers, coumadin or plavix etc. are a different story.
Now I can see that one might argue that all of these medications are expensive and that this is not the most reliable population but generally there are few people who seek beta blockers or dilantin etc. As well, I feel that the expense argument is weak considering when these patients have an adverse event such as a seizure, they are brought to the hospital where they incur an emergency department charge (oh, wait, did I say they? I meant us) or worse they are harmed. A patient suffers a scalp laceration during his seizure or suffers cardiac ischemia without the beta blocker because his atrial fibrillation has rapid response, these are just a couple of examples.
I have major concerns about the cost of these visits to the hospital to the tax payers. I am not naïve enough to believe that there isn’t a deal between Wishard and the correctional system to reduce the cost of these visits but still, it seems it could not be less than simply giving these patients their medications.
Enough about cost, consider that it is unethical for the correctional system to jeopardize these patients health by withholding their medications. I am of the belief that jailed and imprisoned individuals deserve very few or possibly no privileges, however as one can gather from listening to the national debate on healthcare many believe that healthcare is neither a privilege or a luxury but a basic human need. Under this belief it seems that not treating these individuals’ health conditions, especially when they have no means of obtaining their own healthcare, is a violation of the laws of humanity even if the laws of this country seem to turn a blind eye to this condition.
So, the way I view this situation one can make two separate arguments in a fight to obtain more acceptable healthcare conditions for the imprisoned population. A successful fight would save taxpayer dollars, improve the health imprisoned individuals and, last but not least, make my job easier.

The Doctor is Out

I've been waiting to write this post so I could get my mind around how I really feel at this point. My mind hasn't even come close, and I don't know if it ever will, so I blog to begin some kind of healing process. I hate to call it that, because I'm not hurting necessarily and in all honestly I have far greater things on my mind than Hunter S. Thompson's suicide. I guess I should explain that Dr. Gonzo is/was my favorite writer. He was the first person I read who made me stop and think. I read and reread the things he wrote and even went as far as highlighting passages that I enjoyed. I've read a lot of his stuff, but not all of it. His works are still dispersed in my ever growing stack of recreational reading. Thompson will always be the first writer that changed something in me and therefore will always be important.
It is a weird feeling when someone you don't know personally, but has had some influence in your life dies. This is especially the case when it is the first writer that influenced you. I feel as if I am going through some weird rite of passage. I really don't know what I feel. Am I sad? Yes, I wish HST was still around to keep America on its toes. I'm also sad that he felt bad enough to take his own life. I feel more pissed than anything else. Pissed that he took a chicken way out. Pissed that he justified all of those people who wrote him off as a drug fiend who was more crazy than brilliant. Pissed that he left when he might have had one more important thing to say. Maybe Raoul wanted it that way, for us to be pissed, not sad, because the American Dream ain't dead yet bubba, but it sure is close.
Thompson will always represent the part of me that I wish I could let out more often. Irreverence is a comfortable coat of arms and if used often can make you numb to most of the crap in the world. Sometimes I want to load up a rented convertible with as many illicit drugs that I can find and ride off into the sunset with a newly lit cigarette dangling from my lip. I never will, and I don't have to, because Doc did it for me. When it comes down to it that is what really pisses me off. He's not around to do the things I won't and more importantly say the things that I can't. So long Hunter, keep it strange.

Sic Transit Hijo de Puta

The son of a bitch is dead. Dr. Hunter S. Thompson committed suicide. I'll leave the lachrymosal verbosity to other people. I'm going ether hunting.

"The West Wing" and Glenlivet

Well, it has been a long time since I have posted and a long time since I have drank scotch. So I decided to combine the two and see what happens. I really like to have a nice glass of scotch every once in awhile. It doesn't take much for me anymore to feel really relaxed after a glass. There isn't a much better feeling than a glass of scotch on a cold night. That warm feeling that you get as it slides down your throat just warms you right up. Now, if you are interested, there is a right and wrong way to drink scotch. First, you do not gulp down scotch. Not only is it going to hurt like hell, but there is no way that you are going to be able to really capture the full flavor. You can either drink it neat (no ice) or on the rocks (with ice). I prefer on the rocks, but that can tend to water it down just a little bit. Now, take just a little bit for that first drink and put it right underneath your tongue. Let it sit for just a little bit until it starts to burn. Breathe in just a tad and really get the full flavor. Slowly, as if you don't really want to, swallow. Scotch is an acquired taste, so be patient. It will take a while for you to become accustomed to the burn. I suggest starting off with a 12 year old, either Glenlivet or Glenfiddich would be a good start. After that, go as far as your wallet will take you.
I am a "West Wing" nut. I can't get enough of the show and if you call while I'm watching, I'm not going to answer. Now, I am not one of the naysayers that thinks the show is horrible since Aaron Sorkin left. I will admit that it has been lacking some of the original punch of the first few seasons, but ladies and gentlemen, this show is back. If you have since abandoned the series, come back and give it another chance. The writing is better, the storylines are interesting and the characters, from President Bartlett to Donna Moss, are going through some major soul searching. There have been some outstanding episodes. The beginning of the season was a little rough, but good nonetheless. Once the show got over the whole "solving the Mideast Peace crisis in two episodes", it has really hit its stride. Starting with "A Change is Going to Come" the show started off a impressive run of episodes. "Faith Based Initiatives" was extremely impressive, and written by Bradly Whitford (Josh) too! Now the show is switching back and forth between the primaries and the last year of the Bartlett administration, and while this might seem annoying at first glance it actually gives the show life. I have one problem, Donna seems to be acting completely against character this season. I don't really buy the choices she has been making, but I'm sure that she is going to come around. I have one request that would make this season amazing, bring back Sam to help with Santos' campaign. I know it isn't very likely considering Rob Lowe's messy divorce with the show's producers, but come on; Sam swinging in to help Josh and Santos win would be fantastic!!! BRING BACK SAM!

Lonely Doll

Lonely Doll
Originally uploaded by care_.

Here is the book that I was raving about in an earlier blog. It is a great read, definately worth checking out if you enjoy biographical tales of strange and secluded virgins who like to take pictures of their dolls living the life that they will never live.

Baby in a Basket

Baby in a Basket
Originally uploaded by care_.

Teeny Tiny Chinese baby waiting for a train in a basket. I thought this was too funny!

Badgers and Mushrooms

If you haven't already, go to this site: http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/

My kids showed it to me, it will crack you up.

O For A Muse of Fire

My students are watching a Shakespeare DVD that was sent to me by the National Endowment for the Arts. Its mission, I beleive, is to inspire children to read Shakespeare. Not just read, but strive for understanding and appreciation of the Bard and all that he has to offer. I have been attempting to get my children to do this in class for 4 weeks now, with moderate success. I myself was greatly influenced by Shakespeare at a young age. He is what led me to act, he is what inspired me to teach, he has had more influence than most on my meek little existence.

I teach children who define apathy. They are listless, expressionless, hopeless little monsters some days. They are inspired, creative, loving little angels on other days. But everyday they are consistent in one area, they are challenging. They look at you as if to say, " Go on, I dare you to teach me!" I don't know how to get them to understand that I am not here to torture them. It is their choice. No amount of "No Child Left Behind" -like legislation is going to save their sorry butts when they hit the real world without ever once having been held accountable for any action, decision, or choice. I have passed high school, college, and part of graduate school for that matter. I have succeeded in conservatory, I have written papers on everything from Othello to the effects of female aggression on adolescent girls. And yet, here I am, struggling with verbs and adverbs, explaining the idea of goal verses obstacle and contemplating the failure of our current education system.

I can't help but wonder where they will all be in 10 years.

A Quick Note on Posting

To my fellow contributors,

Feel free to post as often as you would like. If you are curious as to how to post pictures, check out this link. If you are curious as to how to put pictures in your posts, check out this handy dandy tutorial made by my friends over at Paper-Thin Walls. If you are looking for general help for all the nonsense that is Blogging, check out this link right here. If you want to nominate anyone else for a contributor type post, please let me know. Also, tell your friends and enemies about our little site.

Crap, I can't help but watch "Idol"

As I write this post, I am watching another contestant get up in front of four judges and sing their heart out. Now they are showing the reaction shots of contestants as they are told they are going to Hollywood. I HATE to admit this, but I can't help watching this show. In my opinion, "Idol" shows so many things that are wrong with society today, but damnit, I can't stop watching, I want more, give ME MORE. I love the people who can sing, but I love the people who can't sing even more. Where do they find these people? I suspect that some of them are bad on purpose in order to get some air time, but the ones that are sincere in their horribleness are simply amazing.

The problem with "Idol" is that many members of "Idol's" audience is stupid people with little or no talent who think that they have talent. The show's very design makes it seem, to the untrained eye, that becoming the next "American Idol" is as easy as falling out of bed. Combine this with the inflated egos of today's youth and it is no wonder that you have some awfully bad singers. Excuse me while I sound old here, but more than any other generation, this one is told that their dreams are right around the corner and that minimal effort is worth praise. For some reason, it seems that we have lost our courage in telling people they suck. The real question is "Has this been the case all along and it has just taken 'American Idol' to expose the ugly side of the 'American Dream'?" I'd like to think that at some point in our recent history, we told people that had absolutely no talent that they needed to stop what they were doing and get a job. Sure telling a kid that they have little or no talent is hard, but isn't it better to say the hard things then to watch them stubbornly tell others that they will become famous someday?

Another thing I don't like about "Idol" is that I hate they type of music they are promoting. The whole vocal gymnastics that "Idol" encourages makes me want to vomit most of the time and I am not a big fan of crappy pop music. I can appreciate a good voice and even get goose bumps if I hear an amazing voice sing a song that I could care less about, but I would rather listen to the new "Iron and Wine" CD.

So...if I had any scrap of integrity I wouldn't be watching this show right now, but...I am. I can't help it. I love to see those who can't get there due and every once in awhile there is a story of a person that makes you cheer and hope. It is finely crafted television that has sucked me in. Now, I am not a consistent TV watcher, so I won't be clearing my schedule to watch, but if it is on and isn't cutting into "The West Wing" then I am there. Well, I've got to go, this next contestant is going to be sadly pathetic.

Random Thoughts

Wow, I haven't posted in awhile. Things have been extremely busy at work, and every night I come home with little or no energy to do anything, let alone type a post. So, while I am still not all the way through this busy spell, I do have enough time for some random notes. (I also put up some recommendations, so check those out.)

Have you ever written or typed a word out and thought, "There is no way that word is spelled that way," only to find out that it is spelled that way?

I have become a water snob. I refuse to drink water unless out of a water bottle and I am a little frightened about what that says about me.

While in most jobs, the harder you work the more money you make, in my job, the harder I make the same amount of money, but the emotional rewards are plentiful. I wonder how long that will satisfy me?

I hope the Colts win this weekend.

Have you ever been so embarrassed by something you were watching on TV that you changed the channel?

I've done all I can at this point, I promise that you will see a big post come next week.

The Lonely Doll

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4258856

I am currently reading the biography of Dare Wright, the lonely and seductively intriguing author of the controversial "Lonely Doll" children's series. The books were first published in 1957 to much success, but were later cited for being indecent and politically incorrect due to many different aspects of the stories including the picture of the lonely doll, Edith, being spanked by Mr. Bear.

I have found the story of Dare Wright and her isolated childhood to be both fascinating and terrifying, and as an artist always struggling with the why and wherefore of the arts I am continually driven to read her story.

click on this link to see the article at NPR, I highly recommend the book!

What do you want???

This is a statue of a naked man. He doesn't look very happy, does he? This was on display at Smithsonian Museum of Modern Art. I always wonder if I could cheer this guy up. Do you think he would be in a better mood if he had some clothes on?

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

So before I begin, let me just state for the record THIS IS NOT A REVIEW!!! "Monty Python's Spamalot" is still in previews and not open for official reviews. The show could go through many different changes before it makes its official debut on Broadway in February. All that being said, it is AWESOME!!! Some friends of mine went up to Chicago last week to see this highly anticipated musical. I was excited, but tread lightly. I didn't want to get my hopes up only to find something else that didn't live up to the hype. I am a pretty big Monty Python fan and I think that "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" is pure genius. So, let’s just say without working myself up too much, I was already expecting greatness.

My only reservation was out of all of the Python alum, Eric Idle is not my favorite. I find Idle’s stuff almost too sophomoric and sometimes not funny at all. Idle is the driving force behind “Spamalot” and while the rest of the surviving members of Python have given their blessing, this is his baby.

I am not going to get into too many details, because a) I don’t want to get sued and b) I don’t want to ruin it for you, but let me say this, the show spares no expense for a good joke. There are still some rough patches, but I am sure those will be cleared out before the real run. The best part about the show is that not only does it take the best parts of “Grail” and use them in the show, but it also manages to make fun of the musical genre along the way.

Tim Curry as King Arthur is adequate for the role. He seems to be still trying to get his stage legs back and I sure that will come in time. However, the role of King Arthur is the straight man of the play and Curry does a good job of rolling his eyes at the right moments. David Hyde Pierce is excellent and has one of the funnier big production numbers in the play. Hank Azaria is fantastic in numerous of roles. Most of his are the old John Cleese roles and he handles them beautifully. While the men are great, the literal diamond in the rough is Sara Ramirez. She plays several different parts, but mainly the Lady in the Lake. She has some great numbers, a good voice and is overall a joy to watch.

So, bottom line, if you have the opportunity to see this show, go SEE IT!!! I have no doubt it will win a lot of awards and meet much of the same acclaim that “The Producers” did last year. And so I end with the predictable pun, go eat some Spam.

Ahhh....now that's weather.

Just a little inspiration for a cloudy, rainy day. New post coming soon, where I don't really review "Spamalot"!

Phooey to the Flu

The best thing that I can say about this round with the flu is that my timing is horrible. Last night I finally came down with some version of what the rest of my family had caught at Christmas. It seems that one of the little ones was carrying a virus and everyone, and I mean EVERYONE caught it. Everyone except me and except me until now. For awhile there I was starting to feel invincible, something about my makeup made me different from the rest of my family. Well, nature has a great way of making you humble really quick. I'm starting to feel much better and I really can't miss work tomorrow.

I hate being sick. That small consolation of not having to work or go to school when you are younger has long since faded, and it has been replaced with being annoyed. Doesn't this flu bug know that last week would have been much more convenient for me to be sick? I've never had a flu shot, but I think that next year I am going to have to break the trend, as this is three winters in a row that I have been struck down. I used to never get sick and now it is like an annual event in my life. My girlfriend just questioned whether or not anyone cares about my bouts with the flu, and she is probably right. However, it does make me feel better to wallow and share my misery with the unknown masses.

Carter says..."Happy New Year!!!"

This is my girlfriend's roommate's dog Carter. He is a little over two months old. During last night's party, Carter laid down in the middle of the floor admist 30 or so people and took a nap. Happy New Year!!!

I hate Tim Robbins

(This was originally published in the Indiana Daily Student on 9/23/2003)

I finally realized why I hate Tim Robbins. Don't get me wrong, I think that Robbins is a great actor. But as I watched "Real Time with Bill Maher" this evening, I realized why I get mad every time I see a celebrity spouting off about his or her political views. It isn't because I disagree with them (although most of the time I do). It isn't because I believe celebrities are idiots and shouldn't have the right to speak on political issues (although I think that until Tim Robbins mows his own grass or cleans his toilet, he shouldn't try to relate to the pain of the common man/woman). The truth is that I don't hate them; it's that I am jealous. I'm jealous that they get to go on TV shows and say what they believe in, what they think is wrong with this country and what they would do to fix things. Hey! I have ideas! I have opinions! Why am I not on "Larry King Live"?Celebrities have a much bigger sandbox where they can throw large amounts of sand in the air to get attention. I, on the other hand, play in a small sandbox that has very little sand and smells funny. Robbins and other celebrity activists like him have the opportunity to be activists. I have papers to write, grass to mow, friends to see, relatives to care about, jobs to do, money to make, take care of this, go do that, and if I have anytime left over I will try to help the local Girl Scouts by buying some cookies. The point is that our little deeds can seem small compared to Susan Sarandon flashing the peace sign at the Oscars or Sean Penn flying over to Iraq or Bono talking to every politician who will listen to him, even though they don't know who he is. So what? Just because our actions aren't broadcast on the news, doesn't make them any less meaningful. Small things count and they add up. One of my instructors took attendance the other day by asking, "What cause do you support?" to everyone in the class. Most, if not all, had a tough time responding. Answers were the general, important sounding themes, like, "the environment" or "health care." Causes don't have to be big and important; start small. I've picked mine and it is the "Be nice to others" cause. I am going to try to shoot a smile at someone I don't know, spare some change, offer encouragement, etc. Let Tim Robbins worry about the big things that I don't have a lot interest in or time for; I'm going to make difference in the little space that I occupy. Can you imagine if we all did that?

The first is always....the first.

Well, I finally went and did it, I started a blog. It is something that I have been thinking about for sometime now, but never got around to it for whatever reason. Of course now everyone and their half-brother has one of these things, but I guess that isn't really the point. I mean everyone ended up at least saying they liked Nirvana, but that doesn't lessen their talent or impact. The reason that I started one of "these here new fangled things" is due to an encounter last night at my girlfriend's New Year's Eve party.

After the countdown was counted-down and Regis was done talking and we had woken up all the neighbors, I got into a conversation with a friend of a friend. It was through this conversation that I finally decided to give birth to a blog. Now it wasn't because this person said, "You should start a blog," but the conversation did leave me convinced nonetheless. To understand why I started this you must first understand that I consider myself to be somewhat of a music snob, "I like what I like and what you like isn't that good." This person I met last night, however, makes me look like an all accepting music-phile with no musical taste whatsoever. I thought to myself, "If this snobby snoberson can post her opinions online, why can't I?" So, after I wiped the haze from my eyes I realized that a blog might be exactly the thing I have been looking for. I thought back to an editorial that wrote for the Indiana Student Union not too long ago (see next post) and realized that a blog would fit nicely into my hopes and wants. I then thought that maybe it would be something that others would need to, so you might see other "lighter people" posting soon. Anyway, I start this purely for selfish reasons and if someone else gets a kick out of it, then it will make me smile slightly.