Last Gasp of Exhaustion

I am dead tired. This daylight savings thing is killing me. It's great because I can play golf until the cows come home, but I stay up way too late and am so sluggish during the day the only thing I can manage is to watch the Drudge Report automatically refresh every 30 seconds. The only reason that I'm writing this post is to stay awake a little while longer so I don't go to sleep and wake up at 4. I long for the days when I could knock out 12 hours of sleep without even trying, I'm lucky to crack 9.

Today was election day and for the first time in my life I voted in a Democratic primary. I was torn, conflicted and feeling apathetic up until yesterday. A few months ago I was a born again Barack disciple; claiming that he was the second coming of JFK. My parents were shocked. (Okay, to be fair my Mom was shocked and my Dad was amused, harking back to his days of going to see RFK speak.) I was sold and ready to follow Obamamania right into a new dawn. But as Billary refused to acknowledge that her time had never really come to fruition and dragged the primary season out like a painfully long Grateful Dead Space and Drums jam, the luster wore off of my new found hero. Mainly because of the crazy Rev. Wright. I have to admit, while I was talking my wife off the ledge saying that someone's crazy pastor is much like a crazy uncle, it doesn't say much as to the actual character of the person in question, it bugged me. Why did Barack stay with this guy for so long? How can someone who seems to stand for change in this world listen to the garbage that this man was spewing. I was even giving Wright the benefit of the doubt until he opened his mouth a couple of weeks ago and removed all of it with his egocentric bigotry. The combination of those feelings plus the fact that I wanted to vote against an incumbent Republican US Rep in the primary (Dan Burton=idiot) almost had me voting in my umpteenth straight GOP primary. But in the end I woke up and thought, "If there is any chance that Obama is still the man I believed him to be, I must vote for him." This doesn't mean that I will vote for him in the general, I'm still up in the air about that one, but it does mean that I haven't given up hope. I hope that he can lift the weight of all the cynicism that has been piled on my generation, I hope that he can prevent us from passing it on to our own children, I hope he can lead the US into a new world that ignores the "old way of doing things", I hope that won't have to take everything with a grain of salt, I hope that soon I will have more to believe in than hope, I hope a change finally does come, I hope that my students will feel the need to change things for the better because their leaders inspire them to do so...and at the end of the day hope might be the only thing that inspired me to vote the way I did.

That and the fact that I HATE Hillary Clinton.